TRANSCRIPT - LIFE
ISSUES NO. 2534
& VICTORS Part
days ago I spoke to you about assault rape pregnancies, yesterday
about pregnancies resulting from incest. Today let me discuss
briefly the child born from such a sexual assault. In a word,
if there is ever a case for placing a baby for adoption, its
the book Ive been discussing, Victims and Victors,
one lady repeats the story of her own assault rape. She clearly
saw the face of her assailant. She clearly heard his voice
and his laughter as he abused her. When the baby came, she
was startled to find that he looked exactly like his father.
In fact, when the little boy laughedand she did keep
him; she didnt place him for adoptionthe laughter
reminded her, as she said, of the "hideous laughter of
the guy who had raped her." This is an example of why
its almost always better to place the child who was
conceived in rape.
the book, a long time friend of mine, Dr. Maloof, is quoted.
He has written about this in the past and, I think, wisely
so. He strongly recommends adoption, not only for the childs
sake but, as he puts it, so the original family can begin
to heal. He says, "Only after having the child adopted
can there be some assurance that this new life will not simply
become part of the incestuous family affair. The family can
be consoled by the knowledge that they have broken their incestuous
pattern." So, you see, this applies to incest as well
as to assault rape.
victim, who did keep her child after rape, discussed the emotional
problems that resulted from being reminded daily of the assault.
She felt that, for most women, it would truly be better for
the child that he not be subjected to this conscious or unconscious
turmoil bubbling within the mother.
wrap up the story of assault rape and incest pregnancies and
how to manage these cases, Dr. Reardon, one of the authors,
says this: "At first glance it would seem to many that
rushing a victim of violence to abortion is the greatest kindness."
But, as we have learned from the women interviewed, and the
children born from assaults who were also interviewed in this
book, its clearly the other way around. Dr. Reardon
says, "The victim may sense, at least at a subconscious
level, that if she can get through the pregnancy, she will
have conquered the rape. By giving birth she can reclaim some
of her lost self-esteem.
birth, especially when conception was not desired, is a totally
selfless act, a generous act, a courageous act. Its
a display of strength and honor. Its a proof to her
that shes better than the rapist. When he was selfish,
she was generous. While he destroyed, she nurtured.
so, folks, heres a good book the title, Victims
and Victors, Acorn Books, by Reardon, Sobie and Makima.
Its one I highly recommend.