Radio Transcript

LIFE ISSUES NO. 2201

I WASN'T TOLD

Today, a message from a woman in Australia. She was aborted, and here's what she wrote to me: “I wasn't told that there would be complications which wouldn't be discovered for a year. I wasn't told that the strength of the suction machine is such that it could literally turn a uterus inside out. I had to have an early hysterectomy because of my abortion.

“I wasn't told that having an abortion would create an unbelievable self-hatred that would consume me and lead to distrust, suspicion and the utter inability to care about myself or others, including my four children. I wasn't told that hearing babies cry would trigger such anger that I wouldn't be able to be around babies at all.

“I wasn't told that it would be impossible to look at my own eyes in the mirror, or that my confidence would be so shaken that I would become unable to make important life decisions. My self-hatred kept me from pursuing my goal of becoming a registered nurse. I didn't think I deserved that success.

“I wasn't told that I would come to hate all of those who advised me to have my abortions, because they were my accomplices in the murders of my babies. I wasn't told that having an abortion, with my husband's consent, would end up causing me to hate the father of my children, or that, after that, I'd be unable to sustain any satisfying, lasting fulfilling marital relationship.

“I wasn't told that could become suicidal, and would in the fall of every year, when both of my babies should have been born. I wasn't told that on the birthdays of my living children I would still remember the two for whom I would never make a birthday cake, or that on Mother's Day I would remember the two who would never send me a card, or that every Christmas I'd remember the two for whom there would be no presents.

“My abortions were supposed to be a “quick fix” for my problems, but they didn't tell me there would be no “quick fix” for my regrets.

“I had gone to my pastor before both abortions. He told me the babies were just “blobs”. So when I went afterwards and asked why I felt so dirty, he said: “God forgives.” I did ask God to forgive me, and my pastor said He did, but somehow I didn't feel forgiven. I still felt unclean, undeserving. Ultimately, I went to a psychiatric hospital, and they gave me shock treatments – and that didn't help.

“I honestly believe that the only thing that is working through me and going to help is to find out that someone out there decided against abortion because God worked in them through my story. Maybe I'm wrong, though.”

She didn't sign the letter, but, wherever you are – and I know that this program is broadcast on many stations in Australia – whoever you are, this is the story, some have heard it, and I'm sure that your story will save at least one baby. And god grant you healing to your concerns.

[12/13/99]