LIFE ISSUES NO. 2201
I WASN'T TOLD
Today, a message from a woman
in Australia. She was aborted, and here's what she wrote to
me: I wasn't told that there would be complications
which wouldn't be discovered for a year. I wasn't told that
the strength of the suction machine is such that it could
literally turn a uterus inside out. I had to have an early
hysterectomy because of my abortion.
I wasn't told that having
an abortion would create an unbelievable self-hatred that
would consume me and lead to distrust, suspicion and the utter
inability to care about myself or others, including my four
children. I wasn't told that hearing babies cry would trigger
such anger that I wouldn't be able to be around babies at
I wasn't told that it would
be impossible to look at my own eyes in the mirror, or that
my confidence would be so shaken that I would become unable
to make important life decisions. My self-hatred kept me from
pursuing my goal of becoming a registered nurse. I didn't
think I deserved that success.
I wasn't told that I would
come to hate all of those who advised me to have my abortions,
because they were my accomplices in the murders of my babies.
I wasn't told that having an abortion, with my husband's consent,
would end up causing me to hate the father of my children,
or that, after that, I'd be unable to sustain any satisfying,
lasting fulfilling marital relationship.
I wasn't told that could
become suicidal, and would in the fall of every year, when
both of my babies should have been born. I wasn't told that
on the birthdays of my living children I would still remember
the two for whom I would never make a birthday cake, or that
on Mother's Day I would remember the two who would never send
me a card, or that every Christmas I'd remember the two for
whom there would be no presents.
My abortions were supposed
to be a quick fix for my problems, but they didn't
tell me there would be no quick fix for my regrets.
I had gone to my pastor
before both abortions. He told me the babies were just blobs.
So when I went afterwards and asked why I felt so dirty, he
said: God forgives. I did ask God to forgive me,
and my pastor said He did, but somehow I didn't feel forgiven.
I still felt unclean, undeserving. Ultimately, I went to a
psychiatric hospital, and they gave me shock treatments
and that didn't help.
I honestly believe that
the only thing that is working through me and going to help
is to find out that someone out there decided against abortion
because God worked in them through my story. Maybe I'm wrong,
She didn't sign the letter, but,
wherever you are and I know that this program is broadcast
on many stations in Australia whoever you are, this
is the story, some have heard it, and I'm sure
that your story will save at least one baby. And god grant
you healing to your concerns.